just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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