it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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