real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
