The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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