Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
