garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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