She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
