i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
