FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
