i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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