I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
