windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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