his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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