Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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