lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
