so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The Olympian is in my bed
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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