Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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