I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
