it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize