a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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