She's JV to your varsity
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
