I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dignity is for republicans.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
