my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
