A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
