u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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