I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
