That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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