so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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