Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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