somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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