Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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