It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
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Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
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I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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