fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
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We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
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Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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