ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
