we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
