I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
