We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
