There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
