rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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