Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
