I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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