It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Everyone says I win the strip club
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
