There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
