Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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