She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
