the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i think i have two assholes
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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