i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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