Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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