franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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