if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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