Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize