and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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