Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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