So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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