Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
