Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize