I'm lost and stupid without you.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
