Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
