Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize