He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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