Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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