wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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