haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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