Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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